


Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics

by VivArney



Category: Emergency!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 11:01:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5624581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VivArney/pseuds/VivArney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a real event!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics

Roy De Soto flipped his too warm pillow to the only slightly cooler side and tried again to drift off to sleep.

Los Angeles was in the middle of a terrible heat wave. There had been several deaths - mostly among the elderly - due to the heat and he could hear the station’s air conditioner struggling to keep the temperature down.

He sighed in frustration as he heard his partner tossing and turning on the nearby bunk. John Gage always seemed to be in motion, even in his sleep, but tonight he seemed particularly restless.

Roy sat up and was about to go sleep on the beat up sofa in the rec room when the lights came on and the tones sounded waking everyone else in the station.

“Squad 51, unknown injury...” Roy listened intently as he pulled on his boots and turn out pants. The other members of the Station 51 crew returned to their bunks as he and Gage turned off the lights and left, closing the door to the bay behind them.

Johnny glanced at the address his partner had scrawled on the trip sheet. “Green Griffin Motel?”

“Yeah, it’s that new place off the highway.” Roy explained as they drove out into the night.

“Sounds like a fun place.”

“It is,” Roy said quietly. “It’s a nice place. Vicky Hector was a teacher til she won the lottery. Now, she runs the motel.” He and his wife had known her back in high school. Not best buddies, but friends. Roy liked her even if she was a little weird sometimes.

Johnny shrugged then stared in disbelief as Roy stopped the squad in front of a small complex. A large sign above the door showed an enormous green griffin wearing green sunglasses.

The dispatcher hadn’t given them a room number so they stopped at the front desk. The heard a voice from the  
back room so Roy called out while Johnny rang the bell impatiently. A large woman appeared carrying a ring of keys. 

She was almost as tall as they were with long dark hair and glasses. She grinned as soon as she spotted Roy.

“Hi, Roy, didn’t know it’d be you I’d be gettin’ outta bed,” she said with a light southern accent.

“What’s up, Vicky?” Roy asked.

“Gotta couple of newlyweds, Gary and Lee, in 148,” she explained. She locked the door and led them down the sidewalk. “He’s cussin’ a blue streak and screams when I try to come in.”

“Sounds like a police matter,” Johnny said.

“The wife’s cryin’ and carrin’ on. She says the husband’s hurt but, like I said, he won’t let me in to find out what’s wrong.”

She saw that Johnny was about to drop the biophone and took it from him as if it weighted nothing.

They stopped outside room 148 and Vicky rapped on the door. “Mr. Twomey, the paramedics are here,” she called.

“Okay, let ‘em in, but you stay out!” a male voice answered.

Vicky used her master key to open the door and snapped. “I’ll go where I please in my motel.”

The three of them were unprepared for the sight that greeted them.

A man in his twenties was sprawled on the bed with a washcloth covering his lap. There was blood from his navel to his knees. The paramedics rushed forward and began setting up their equipment.

“Mr. Twomey, can you tell me what happened here?” Roy asked.

“Stupid cow bit me!” Gary Twomey responded furiously.

“A cow?” Johnny started.

Twomey pointed in the general direction of his wife. “Her.”

The paramedics exchanged puzzled glances, then realized what the injured man meant.

Roy slpped on a pair of rubber gloves and carefully lifted the blood soaked washcloth. There was a sanitary napkin wrapped tightly around the man’s penis and held in place with a doubled up rubber band. Roy glanced up at the woman. “You put this bandage on?”

She nodded. 

“You did a good job.”

“It wouldn’t stop bleeding, that was all I had,” she sobbed.

“Get that disgusting thing off me!” Twomey snapped. “I can’t believe she did that to me.”

Johnny glared at the man as he checked the man’s vitals. It was hard to get a good reading the way Twomey was ranting and raving about his wife. 

“Vicky, could you take Mrs. Twomey out of here for a bit?” Roy pleaded seeing the hatred in their patient’s face. “Go get her some coffee or something.”

“You better never come back!” Twomey yelled.

The bride burst into tears as Vicky led her from the room. Twomey finally settled down.

“Rampart, this is Squad 51,” Johnny said into the biophone’s receiver.

“Go ahead, 51,” Mike Morton responded.

“Rampart, we have a male, approximately 30, victim of a bite. The wound is bleeding and attempts to stop it have failed.” Johnny relayed the vitals and waited for Morton’s response.

“51 , where was the victim bitten?”

“In a motel room, Rampart.”

“What part of the body, 51?”

Roy shook his head. He could almost hear Morton’s blood pressure rising.

“On the penis, Rampart,” Johnny answered.

There was silence on the biophone for a full minute before Morton spoke again.”

“Do you know what bit him, 51?”

“Affirmative, Rampart, it was his wife.”

“Confirm, 51, his wife bit him.”

“10-4, Rampart.”

Vicky stuck her head back into the room. “Ambulance is here, guys,” she said, ignoring the injured man’s furious shouts.

While Johnny had been speaking to Morton, Roy had removed the makeshift bandage and replaced it with a  
clean one, taping it carefully around the injured member.

“Start an IV, 51,” Morton began. Johnny quickly followed the doctor’s instructions.

“Has the ambulance arrived yet, 51?”

“Affirmative, Rampart.”

“Transport when ready.”

“10-4, Rampart,” Johnny replied as he started gathering up the equipment. 

The ambulance attendants entered. Twomey started yelling as soon as he spotted the female attendant.

“What’s his problem?” Rene Weaver asked. Her dark eyes took in the bloodstained bed.

“You don’t wanna know,” Roy muttered as he helped Rene and Jack, her partner, lift the injured man onto the  
gurney.

“I’ll go with him,” Johnny offered.

Roy nodded and followed the group to the ambulance. He helped the woman into the front seat and went back  
to the room to make sure they’d gotten everything. 

“Ya kno, it kinda serves him right,” Vicky said as she followed him back to the squad.

“How so?” Roy asked.

“According to the wife, he’s been a real jerk all day.” 

Roy shrugged. “Kinda makes you wonder if they’ll still be married after this.”

She grinned. “Yeah. Tell Jo Anne and the kids I said, ‘Hello.’”

“I’ll do that, “Roy promised with a nod. “Stay out of trouble,” he added with a grin.

“Me? I collect trouble, Buddy!” she crowed and waved goodbye as he started the squad and drove off.

Roy and Johnny didn’t linger at the hospital as they usually did. They were both tired and listening to the injured groom’s ranting was getting old. They returned to the station and their bunks, falling asleep almost immediately.

When Ray arrived at the station couple of days later there wasn’t anyone in the locker room. He changed and went into the rec room to find his partner telling C and A shifts about their late night run.

“Course it didn’t help any that about the time Dix got him calmed down, the wife stuck her head in and yelled. “I hope if falls off!”


End file.
